So, the title to this piece may seem a bit bizarre, but i thought it way too appropriate!
I can't take the credit for such a witty remark, however, for it was my Human Biology Professor who made this statement at our first class meeting this past week.
All I could think while he was going on in detail about us "funny little creatures" was how God probablly thinks something very similar as he looks down on us. He created us in every single way; outside in and inside out. He knows every word we are going to speak, every action we're going to take, and every decision we will make. And then I thought..."Man! We gotta' be God's live entertainment!"
The way I see it, if we listened to every little whisper from God and every push he gave us there would be no entertainment at all for Him! (We would also live in a perfect world which would be pretty nice, but of course that's not the case.) Our God is so wonderous because he could potentially work us like little puppets, but because he grants us free will this is not the case.
I can only imagine the trillion and one times throughout my 21 years on this earth that God has looked down and chuckled saying "Oh Kelsi...don't you get it!? I've got it all figured out already! Just follow me, child!"
Of course, I'm waaaaaaaay too stubborn to hear him, most of the time, but he still continues to guide me along as I keep my faith in Him. In this way, I am a human: a funny little creature who walks around trying to figure life's meaning out and plan, plan, plan, but I get absolutely nowhere! When we think we've got it all under control, we don't! When we think we've figured it out, we have no idea! When we think things couldn't get any worse, they could! When we think we know it all, we haven't got a clue!
So what's so cool about the human beings that we are?
We are creations of God; made by and through His hand and even though we have absolutely NO control over anything, everything is still fully under control because we are His. Funny and silly as we are, we've got it all if we've got the man upstairs!
This entry is pretty mcuh just straight babbling of mine, but just some food for thought that I have come across latley through out my walk.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry." ~James 1:19
Sunday, January 16, 2011
Saturday, December 4, 2010
God Sent me My Angel....
So, it was either in my 1st or 2nd post that I mentioned to you a man named Taylor Gardner.
Now to many of you, it sounds silly that I would introduce him this way because you know him or at least know of him and WHO he is in my life. For those who don't,Taylor Edward Gardner is the Love of my life, my boyfriend, whom God "technically" blessed into my life 16 years ago when I was four years old as the annoying, mean boy down the street, but "officially" placed as more than just a friend in my life when I was 17 years old. I have been filled with the most amazing blessings and joys through out the past 2.5 years of being his girlfriend, and it has been nothing less than a whirlwind of unexplainable feelings.
But what I actually want to share with you about this great man, goes beyond feelings. You see "Love" is NOT a feeling at all. Love is not desire, nor pleasure. Now don't get me wrong, being IN love can certainly bring about such things, but True Love is an eternal life-mode, if you will.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is a man of God. Taylor, as much as he expresses and shows such a strong and beautiful love towards me, could never rank our love in the same category as the love he has for God. God is always first and foremost in Tay's life, and seeing as we are all humans and make major mistakes this is not to say he is perfect in any way, but God asks us not to strive AWAY from perfection either this shines through Taylor as his number one priority in his life. He has a beaming desire to share Our gracious Father's love with all that he meets, and I feel so blessed to me a witness and a participant in it all.
I am in Love with Taylor because he pushes me to the brim, and trust me when I say he is a persistent man! This is not just in my moments of laziness, but more noted during my moments of self-doubt, unhappiness, and when I am simply unmotivated. I can't tell you how many times he will gently hold my head between his hands, showering me with compliments about the amazing woman of God he sees in me, and force me to push on and reach for the potential God has granted me.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is so determined in his own life. He doesn't believe in wasting a moment in life, and I will admit sometimes I have to make him just sit down, breathe, and watch a single T.V. show, haha! But in all honesty, it is such a blessing each and every day to see him going after the next project, next type of community service, or his personal favorite, the next type of fundraiser to organize! Beyond all of this he is determined to have a successful future, and not in a materialistic way, but through God's way, and because of this determination he thinks and prays everything through (something I lack...)
I am in Love with Taylor because he accepts everything about me. From day 1 when we were just friends we started a very "out in the open" type of relationship. I can honestly say that Tay knows everything that I did before 'us' and everything I have done while we've been together. He knows my faults and weaknesses as well as my strong points...and there is not one thing he desires to change about me. I've had a past that I thought I could easily brush away, never talk about, and soon forget...and then I met Tay. I always tease him & give him a hard time about it, but he as brought me into a willingness to share things which I have never spoken of to anyone but God...and even for those things, he loves me!
I am in Love with Taylor because he knows the real meaning of Love...God's meaning, and he shares it everyday with others. Taylor has shown me what it means to have a servants heart. We have had conversations over and over again about how he has said yes without question when I know I probably would have tried to find a way out. I have witnessed this love of Taylor's displayed towards his family, friends, and even complete strangers off the street.
I am in Love with Taylor because he can totally have no way to relate to something I'm dealing with/talking about, but he is completely understanding. I come to him about everything and he is always there to just hold me, whether physically or through his gentle words when we can't be together face to face. He always knows when to speak, and when to listen, and he knows when advice is needed and also when it is okay to say he doesn't really know what to say. He allows me to vent, and just when I'm trying not to put too many of my burdens on him, he pleads for me to talk more and always reminds me "If I can't be here for you like this, what am I here for!?" :)
I am in Love with Taylor because he keeps me accountable, and vise versa. We truly are each others accountability partners, and I love hearing Tay when I am most in need saying, "Let's pray about it." I may not like to admit it, but I know that I need someone there to hold me accountable for things I try to sweep under the rug, and God could not have given me someone more perfect than Taylor. He's not afraid to bring things to my attention, but he is able to do it in the most respectful way.
I am in Love with Taylor for the last reason I just mentioned, he respects me to a T (no pun intended). He will be there for me and share his opinion on my decisions and actions, but he has always been there at my side 100% when it comes down to it (and trust me, I can think of a few things right of the bat he hasn't necessarily agreed with.) He not only respects my decisions, but he respects me as a person. Through my moods, my "girl" moments, and up to my standards, pride, morals and values. When it comes to those things, he doesn't just respect me and where I stand on them, but he joins me in agreement with them.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is my best friend. Even as we head towards 3 years together (yes I know, it's not THAT long), but even still we could talk for days on end. We have literally spent non-stop days into weeks with each other and it still never seems to be enough; there hasn't been a moment of getting sick of each other! We make each other laugh at things no one else would understand, and we have our own languages and nicknames like we're little kids again! But at the same time, he is my rock and after my God he is the one person I can trust in this world no matter what. He is real and honest with me, not afraid to be blunt when it's needed, but he knows how to be romantic and kind when I need it most, and even at the most unexpected times. Every moment I'm with him just feels like I'm playing.
I am in Love with Taylor because in him, God Sent me My Angel.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"You are so beautiful, my love, in every part of you."
~Song of Solomon 4:7
Now to many of you, it sounds silly that I would introduce him this way because you know him or at least know of him and WHO he is in my life. For those who don't,Taylor Edward Gardner is the Love of my life, my boyfriend, whom God "technically" blessed into my life 16 years ago when I was four years old as the annoying, mean boy down the street, but "officially" placed as more than just a friend in my life when I was 17 years old. I have been filled with the most amazing blessings and joys through out the past 2.5 years of being his girlfriend, and it has been nothing less than a whirlwind of unexplainable feelings.
But what I actually want to share with you about this great man, goes beyond feelings. You see "Love" is NOT a feeling at all. Love is not desire, nor pleasure. Now don't get me wrong, being IN love can certainly bring about such things, but True Love is an eternal life-mode, if you will.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is a man of God. Taylor, as much as he expresses and shows such a strong and beautiful love towards me, could never rank our love in the same category as the love he has for God. God is always first and foremost in Tay's life, and seeing as we are all humans and make major mistakes this is not to say he is perfect in any way, but God asks us not to strive AWAY from perfection either this shines through Taylor as his number one priority in his life. He has a beaming desire to share Our gracious Father's love with all that he meets, and I feel so blessed to me a witness and a participant in it all.
I am in Love with Taylor because he pushes me to the brim, and trust me when I say he is a persistent man! This is not just in my moments of laziness, but more noted during my moments of self-doubt, unhappiness, and when I am simply unmotivated. I can't tell you how many times he will gently hold my head between his hands, showering me with compliments about the amazing woman of God he sees in me, and force me to push on and reach for the potential God has granted me.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is so determined in his own life. He doesn't believe in wasting a moment in life, and I will admit sometimes I have to make him just sit down, breathe, and watch a single T.V. show, haha! But in all honesty, it is such a blessing each and every day to see him going after the next project, next type of community service, or his personal favorite, the next type of fundraiser to organize! Beyond all of this he is determined to have a successful future, and not in a materialistic way, but through God's way, and because of this determination he thinks and prays everything through (something I lack...)
I am in Love with Taylor because he accepts everything about me. From day 1 when we were just friends we started a very "out in the open" type of relationship. I can honestly say that Tay knows everything that I did before 'us' and everything I have done while we've been together. He knows my faults and weaknesses as well as my strong points...and there is not one thing he desires to change about me. I've had a past that I thought I could easily brush away, never talk about, and soon forget...and then I met Tay. I always tease him & give him a hard time about it, but he as brought me into a willingness to share things which I have never spoken of to anyone but God...and even for those things, he loves me!
I am in Love with Taylor because he knows the real meaning of Love...God's meaning, and he shares it everyday with others. Taylor has shown me what it means to have a servants heart. We have had conversations over and over again about how he has said yes without question when I know I probably would have tried to find a way out. I have witnessed this love of Taylor's displayed towards his family, friends, and even complete strangers off the street.
I am in Love with Taylor because he can totally have no way to relate to something I'm dealing with/talking about, but he is completely understanding. I come to him about everything and he is always there to just hold me, whether physically or through his gentle words when we can't be together face to face. He always knows when to speak, and when to listen, and he knows when advice is needed and also when it is okay to say he doesn't really know what to say. He allows me to vent, and just when I'm trying not to put too many of my burdens on him, he pleads for me to talk more and always reminds me "If I can't be here for you like this, what am I here for!?" :)
I am in Love with Taylor because he keeps me accountable, and vise versa. We truly are each others accountability partners, and I love hearing Tay when I am most in need saying, "Let's pray about it." I may not like to admit it, but I know that I need someone there to hold me accountable for things I try to sweep under the rug, and God could not have given me someone more perfect than Taylor. He's not afraid to bring things to my attention, but he is able to do it in the most respectful way.
I am in Love with Taylor for the last reason I just mentioned, he respects me to a T (no pun intended). He will be there for me and share his opinion on my decisions and actions, but he has always been there at my side 100% when it comes down to it (and trust me, I can think of a few things right of the bat he hasn't necessarily agreed with.) He not only respects my decisions, but he respects me as a person. Through my moods, my "girl" moments, and up to my standards, pride, morals and values. When it comes to those things, he doesn't just respect me and where I stand on them, but he joins me in agreement with them.
I am in Love with Taylor because he is my best friend. Even as we head towards 3 years together (yes I know, it's not THAT long), but even still we could talk for days on end. We have literally spent non-stop days into weeks with each other and it still never seems to be enough; there hasn't been a moment of getting sick of each other! We make each other laugh at things no one else would understand, and we have our own languages and nicknames like we're little kids again! But at the same time, he is my rock and after my God he is the one person I can trust in this world no matter what. He is real and honest with me, not afraid to be blunt when it's needed, but he knows how to be romantic and kind when I need it most, and even at the most unexpected times. Every moment I'm with him just feels like I'm playing.
I am in Love with Taylor because in him, God Sent me My Angel.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"You are so beautiful, my love, in every part of you."
~Song of Solomon 4:7
Wednesday, December 1, 2010
Thank you God for using Steven Curtis Chapman
Revelations are funny...
According to Webster, a "Revelation" is defined as the revealing or disclosing,through active or passive communication with supernatural entities. But see, Our God is not an "entity" , and the reason I want to make this clear is because, at least from a personal standpoint, I hear the word "entity"and I think of the movie Paranormal , and that is FAR from God or anything Christ like!
My whole reason for bringing this up is because I'm pretty sure I experienced one today right in my car with the radio on sitting in the parking lot after just pulling into campus for my evening class. This is where the title of this blabbering blog comes in.
I'm a huge Steven Curtis Chapman music fan, but I truly wish he could know how God used him this evening in my life. Now, I don't know if any of you have heard his music or are even familiar with the name, but 'Steven' has been creating music for over 25 years, and 15 of those have been firmly given to God through every song and every album. Like I said, big fan. But tonight was not about Steven Curtis Chapman. Tonight was about God using one of his beloved children in order to shake, break, and bring another one of his children to her knees (which is not easy to do at the wheel of a parked car).
A song came on. A song I have loved for the last year since I first heard it on the radio, and one I have played over and over and over again since. However, the song "When Love Takes You In" hit me extremely differently tonight...it changed everything.
I grew up in a Christian home form the time I was born until I moved out, and though I claimed to know God, I wasn't saved until my teens. It's been years now since I was saved, and as most imperfect human beings, I have still had my ups and down in life as well as in my relationship with God. To be clear I have never ONCE stopped loving or believing, but the last 7 months or so I have felt as if I was losing or possibly had LOST the "connection". That bond, that overpowering love that you can not help but devote yourself entirely to. I was missing it, and it felt as if there would be no finding it. I was sinning even more than usual, and was not following anything up in prayer or asking for forgiveness, yet I couldn't figure out why I was "losing"!?!
Reading all of that, it seems like the answer was pretty clear, huh? Well I couldn't see ANY of that...until tonight.
"When Love Takes you In" made me listen, and before it even reached the chorus God broke me and I couldn't have been more resistant. Before I knew it, tears were flowing and I was praying...praying the way I used to. The same way I use to always talk to my Daddy in the Heavens. It was scary, it was beautiful, it was nerve-wracking, it was appreciated, it was fought, it was fulfilling....it was the answer and by no means did it happen because of me!!!
I found myself BEGGING for forgiveness, and I kid you not when I say I could totally feel my heart rejoicing and opening ten million times! God broke me, and in doing so filled my heart with so much healing and joy! (And HE is the ONLY guy who can break you, but not your heart!)
He is amazing, and gave me a Revelation tonight: When I feel lonely, or lost it has everything to do with me, because he will NEVER leave unless I completely deny him...even when I convince myself in my own stupid way that I deserve to be left.
So Thank you God! Thank you for opening my eyes and finally healing my hurt heart that so terribly wanted to find you again! Thank you for opening that heart and my eyes and mind to what I must change and what I must always do to never lose this relationship I have with you!
And thank you Steven Curtis Chapman, for using the magical gift of music God has blessed you with.
Because of Our Heavenly Father you have done more than made a few words and music notes sound good tonight, you have been used as a tool to transform another one of HIS children!
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
When Love Takes You In
Written and Recorded by: Steven Curtis Chapman
"I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in"
According to Webster, a "Revelation" is defined as the revealing or disclosing,through active or passive communication with supernatural entities. But see, Our God is not an "entity" , and the reason I want to make this clear is because, at least from a personal standpoint, I hear the word "entity"and I think of the movie Paranormal , and that is FAR from God or anything Christ like!
My whole reason for bringing this up is because I'm pretty sure I experienced one today right in my car with the radio on sitting in the parking lot after just pulling into campus for my evening class. This is where the title of this blabbering blog comes in.
I'm a huge Steven Curtis Chapman music fan, but I truly wish he could know how God used him this evening in my life. Now, I don't know if any of you have heard his music or are even familiar with the name, but 'Steven' has been creating music for over 25 years, and 15 of those have been firmly given to God through every song and every album. Like I said, big fan. But tonight was not about Steven Curtis Chapman. Tonight was about God using one of his beloved children in order to shake, break, and bring another one of his children to her knees (which is not easy to do at the wheel of a parked car).
A song came on. A song I have loved for the last year since I first heard it on the radio, and one I have played over and over and over again since. However, the song "When Love Takes You In" hit me extremely differently tonight...it changed everything.
I grew up in a Christian home form the time I was born until I moved out, and though I claimed to know God, I wasn't saved until my teens. It's been years now since I was saved, and as most imperfect human beings, I have still had my ups and down in life as well as in my relationship with God. To be clear I have never ONCE stopped loving or believing, but the last 7 months or so I have felt as if I was losing or possibly had LOST the "connection". That bond, that overpowering love that you can not help but devote yourself entirely to. I was missing it, and it felt as if there would be no finding it. I was sinning even more than usual, and was not following anything up in prayer or asking for forgiveness, yet I couldn't figure out why I was "losing"!?!
Reading all of that, it seems like the answer was pretty clear, huh? Well I couldn't see ANY of that...until tonight.
"When Love Takes you In" made me listen, and before it even reached the chorus God broke me and I couldn't have been more resistant. Before I knew it, tears were flowing and I was praying...praying the way I used to. The same way I use to always talk to my Daddy in the Heavens. It was scary, it was beautiful, it was nerve-wracking, it was appreciated, it was fought, it was fulfilling....it was the answer and by no means did it happen because of me!!!
I found myself BEGGING for forgiveness, and I kid you not when I say I could totally feel my heart rejoicing and opening ten million times! God broke me, and in doing so filled my heart with so much healing and joy! (And HE is the ONLY guy who can break you, but not your heart!)
He is amazing, and gave me a Revelation tonight: When I feel lonely, or lost it has everything to do with me, because he will NEVER leave unless I completely deny him...even when I convince myself in my own stupid way that I deserve to be left.
So Thank you God! Thank you for opening my eyes and finally healing my hurt heart that so terribly wanted to find you again! Thank you for opening that heart and my eyes and mind to what I must change and what I must always do to never lose this relationship I have with you!
And thank you Steven Curtis Chapman, for using the magical gift of music God has blessed you with.
Because of Our Heavenly Father you have done more than made a few words and music notes sound good tonight, you have been used as a tool to transform another one of HIS children!
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
When Love Takes You In
Written and Recorded by: Steven Curtis Chapman
"I know you’ve heard the stories
But they all sound too good to be true
You’ve heard about a place called home
But there doesn’t seem to be one for you
So one more night you cry yourself to sleep
And drift off to a distant dream
Where love takes you in and everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in
And somewhere while you’re sleeping
Someone else is dreaming too
Counting down the days until
They hold you close and say I love you
And like the rain that falls into the sea
In a moment what has been is lost in what will be
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
And this love will never let you go
There is nothing that could ever cause this love to lose its hold
When love takes you in everything changes
A miracle starts with the beat of a heart
When love takes you home and says you belong here
The loneliness ends and a new life begins
When love takes you in it takes you in for good
When love takes you in"
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Love is All around...
The above title is fine and dandy to hear, but I'm sure there will be at least one person to read this who thinks "Yeah, okay Kelsi we all know you're just an optimist, but you have NO idea what my life is like or has been like in the past! You have no idea what I've been through, where I'm at, or the person I have become."
Guess what???
You're totally right!!!
My own best friend is going to have certain things through out her life that I may not be able to understand, and maybe even a thing or two that I will never know about, so of course I'm not going to know or understand who you are and what you have gone or are going through! However, the fact of the matter is that we ALL go through stuff...tough stuff...miserable stuff...stuff that haunts us for years on end.
Maybe I sound like a broken record to some of you, but this is not the end! There's a man I like to call on, Jesus Christ, who DIED ON A CROSS FOR YOU AND FOR ME!!! He wore a crown of thorns, He endured whip lashings like no other, and then He had nails hammered into his veins and bones just so all this crappy stuff you're dealing with could be taken away! No bad can be taken away if it doesn't ever come, so smile when you're in the storm; raise your hands up and beg for help and/or forgiveness and realize that because the storm is present, the sunshine is on it's way! God's hands are nearby and ready to shelter you from the storm.
There are few and far between who know my true life's past, and though I would like to pour my heart and soul out on this blog and share everything I have been through to get me where I am today, I honestly don't have the gull (yet). But the day will come, fellow "bloggers", haha. I promise you that one day I will share with you my pains and my struggles. Even though many of my major screw ups feel like they were so long ago, it is still such a fresh scar, hence why those who were there through it all and Taylor are the only one's who truly know.
Though I'm not sharing all of me yet, I can tell you that I won't pretend to understand your hurts and struggles, but I also won't leave you out in the dust to feel alone because no matter how you feel we all must remember that every single person around us is hurting! We're living in a hurt-filled world, hello!?! The hurt is all relative based off our upbringing and life experiences thus far, but it is present for each and every being who will ever grace this Earth.
LOVE IS ALL AROUND...
You just have to be open and willing to it.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
- Romans 5:6-8
Guess what???
You're totally right!!!
My own best friend is going to have certain things through out her life that I may not be able to understand, and maybe even a thing or two that I will never know about, so of course I'm not going to know or understand who you are and what you have gone or are going through! However, the fact of the matter is that we ALL go through stuff...tough stuff...miserable stuff...stuff that haunts us for years on end.
Maybe I sound like a broken record to some of you, but this is not the end! There's a man I like to call on, Jesus Christ, who DIED ON A CROSS FOR YOU AND FOR ME!!! He wore a crown of thorns, He endured whip lashings like no other, and then He had nails hammered into his veins and bones just so all this crappy stuff you're dealing with could be taken away! No bad can be taken away if it doesn't ever come, so smile when you're in the storm; raise your hands up and beg for help and/or forgiveness and realize that because the storm is present, the sunshine is on it's way! God's hands are nearby and ready to shelter you from the storm.
There are few and far between who know my true life's past, and though I would like to pour my heart and soul out on this blog and share everything I have been through to get me where I am today, I honestly don't have the gull (yet). But the day will come, fellow "bloggers", haha. I promise you that one day I will share with you my pains and my struggles. Even though many of my major screw ups feel like they were so long ago, it is still such a fresh scar, hence why those who were there through it all and Taylor are the only one's who truly know.
Though I'm not sharing all of me yet, I can tell you that I won't pretend to understand your hurts and struggles, but I also won't leave you out in the dust to feel alone because no matter how you feel we all must remember that every single person around us is hurting! We're living in a hurt-filled world, hello!?! The hurt is all relative based off our upbringing and life experiences thus far, but it is present for each and every being who will ever grace this Earth.
LOVE IS ALL AROUND...
You just have to be open and willing to it.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
- Romans 5:6-8
Friday, November 19, 2010
Can't get enough of my Dad in the sky...
So last night I was blessed with the opportunity of hearing a good friend of mine, Javier Cruz, speak at Crosswinds College ministry group, and it was beyond awesome! God really flowed through this man as he spoke about now vital it is that we hang up our desires from this world and begin to desire GOD instead!
It really got me thinking...how many times have I sat here and thought about those "If only's".
*If only I had a nicer car
*If only I had a high-paying Job
*If only I was older
*If only I had this or that or that or this...If only, If only, If only!
We all do it, and if you're sitting there saying you haven't then you're simply lying to yourself!
God created us! He picked up a pile of dirt and blew on it to createliving, breathing human beings, for goodness sakes! He didn't just do this because he was bored or because he just felt like it, because to follow up our creation he sent down his one and only son, Jesus Christ, and Jesus then died on the Cross for us and all our sinly ways!
Last night my eyes were opened to this: If God created ME, and God allowed his own son to be killed for ME, then clearly he has a plan for ME! So who the heck am I to stomp on that plan by sitting here and saying "This isn't good enough"!?!
We are nobodys and we need to accept this.
I nor you were created by God to be somebody, but rather to KNOW somebody...to know HIM, the creator of the Universe, the lover of all, and to share his wonderful and awesome power and glory with everyone we come into contact with.
Think about it...there is absolutely NOTHING on this earth that God wants or needs. As Javie put it last night "The man is not running on a shortage of i-pads in his heavenly kingdom! Our dude is up there flying on clouds! He has absolutely EVERYTHING, and nothing from this Earth impresses him." <--That could not be more true, yet we sit around collecting and working to aquire all this world has to offer us evne though God says it means NOTHING to him! "
I know this all seems preachy, but that's really not at all what I'm aiming at, so please hear me out. the message God sent through Javie message hit me on a very personal level, because though I may not have the biggest eye for material things I do have a heart that for years upon years now, has longed for "what I don't have yet". The thing is guys, we have "it". "IT" is HIM...our Dad in the heavens...Jesus Christ the son of God is "IT". Period.
There are no plans, no items, no thoughts of mine or yours or of this world that can even be seen in comparence to HIM.
If you want a life worth living, live for God, with God, and through God all the days of your life. We'll never do all that he asks, but why try NOT to? Follow him, love him, serve him, and let NOTHING be more important than the man himself who brought you hear in the first place, and blesses you with each of your days.
Until next Time:
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" ~Matthew 16:26
"And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." ~Luke 12:15
It really got me thinking...how many times have I sat here and thought about those "If only's".
*If only I had a nicer car
*If only I had a high-paying Job
*If only I was older
*If only I had this or that or that or this...If only, If only, If only!
We all do it, and if you're sitting there saying you haven't then you're simply lying to yourself!
God created us! He picked up a pile of dirt and blew on it to createliving, breathing human beings, for goodness sakes! He didn't just do this because he was bored or because he just felt like it, because to follow up our creation he sent down his one and only son, Jesus Christ, and Jesus then died on the Cross for us and all our sinly ways!
Last night my eyes were opened to this: If God created ME, and God allowed his own son to be killed for ME, then clearly he has a plan for ME! So who the heck am I to stomp on that plan by sitting here and saying "This isn't good enough"!?!
We are nobodys and we need to accept this.
I nor you were created by God to be somebody, but rather to KNOW somebody...to know HIM, the creator of the Universe, the lover of all, and to share his wonderful and awesome power and glory with everyone we come into contact with.
Think about it...there is absolutely NOTHING on this earth that God wants or needs. As Javie put it last night "The man is not running on a shortage of i-pads in his heavenly kingdom! Our dude is up there flying on clouds! He has absolutely EVERYTHING, and nothing from this Earth impresses him." <--That could not be more true, yet we sit around collecting and working to aquire all this world has to offer us evne though God says it means NOTHING to him! "
Matthew 6: 19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Why, if the God of the universe already has a plan that will fullfill us beyond all understanding (Phil. 4:6-7 "Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then He will give you a peace that is too wonderful to understand."), do we continue to seek out and hoard all that this world has to offer? Everything the world SAYS it has to offer ends in nothingness...it is all meaning-less to the man upstairs, and if it is meaningless to our God whom watched Satan create these meaningless thoughts and material things, then why in the world should we desire it!?!I know this all seems preachy, but that's really not at all what I'm aiming at, so please hear me out. the message God sent through Javie message hit me on a very personal level, because though I may not have the biggest eye for material things I do have a heart that for years upon years now, has longed for "what I don't have yet". The thing is guys, we have "it". "IT" is HIM...our Dad in the heavens...Jesus Christ the son of God is "IT". Period.
There are no plans, no items, no thoughts of mine or yours or of this world that can even be seen in comparence to HIM.
If you want a life worth living, live for God, with God, and through God all the days of your life. We'll never do all that he asks, but why try NOT to? Follow him, love him, serve him, and let NOTHING be more important than the man himself who brought you hear in the first place, and blesses you with each of your days.
Until next Time:
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" ~Matthew 16:26
"And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." ~Luke 12:15
Thursday, November 18, 2010
INSOMNIA...
At 4:15 this morning I found myself wide awake, after a failed attempt to be awake @ 2:45 a.m. for an expected meteor shower.
*sigh* but to my dismay, not a single star has yet to "rain" past my window...
MAJOR fail Mr. Weatherman.
Anywhoooo...
There I was still wide awake after 4 a.m. and I began browsing facebook and in doing so I ran across some old friends, The Williamson sisters, Kristin Dittman and Alexa Williamson. As creaperish as it may sound I somehow found myself scrolling through both of their blogs and well...now here I am! All of this to say I owe my first blog experience to one of my old baby-sitters and her younger sister, a beautiful girl I use to play with down the street in good ol' Pebble Creek.
Now I'm not sure what will come of this new blog of mine. It could be neglected, something I visit from time to time to keep you update on life occurrences. However, it could also be an everyday diary for me, a way to vent and let out feelings which the day did not allow me to express...who knows!
I've been debating the whole "telling you about myself" ordeal, simply because I figure those who read this probably already know, but just to cover the basis (in-case I'm wrong) I'll lay it out on the table:
My name is Kelsi Aurelia Martin. My first name had no real meaning to it at the time my parents gave it to me, but we did later find out it was the maiden name of my great-great-great grandmother. Middle name is the opposite in the way that it has MAJOR significance as my grandmother's first name, my mother's middle name, passed down to me, and one day will be my first daughters name (don't judge me). The last name of course has been passed on through multiple generations of the "Martin clan", and though I haven't always, I am beginning to see the importance of owning this name and appreciating all it has brought me.
I grew up with very loving parents who continue to provide for me beyond measure! They were my best friends until I was 17, but as I began to suddenly discover what it meant to have an opinion and stand up for myself, things got rocky. I believe this is why God created "college"; for every student at this age to go off and LEAVE home, so as to relieve tension from both parties.
I did just that and now I hate every time I have to head back to school; my parents are back to being the ones I can ALWAYS turn to!
Straight out of High Schoo l I left for University of North Florida in Jacksonville in May 2008. It was quaint, it was was quiet, and it was 2 miles away from your toes in the water and booty in the sand (yes, the beach)! I was having a blast, and at the same time was slowly falling for a young man back in Tampa all via phone conversation and e-mails for 3.5 months. His name is Taylor Gardner, and our story is literally like a spider's web so that will have to be saved for another blog. For now, we'll just say that things took a turn in my mind and in my heart and I found myself returning to Tampa for College in Fall 2008. I attended Hillsborough Community College From January 2009-August 2010 and now I am (hopefully) settled in at The University of Central Florida in Orlando aiming for a Bachelors in Child Protective Investigation with a minor is Criminal Sociolgy.
Don't get too scrambled with my unorganized ramblings, but before I led into my schooling I was talking about my parents/ family. My parentals also have one other child, my dear sister, Amanda Kaitlin Martin, and I love her more than I will ever be able to explain!!! At first glance you may notice her to be different, but as you get inside that playful and dream-filled soul of hers you'll see that her heart is no different than yours or mine. She's the biggest part of my inspiration to work with kids and make sure they are placed in safe and caring households filled with love. Like any siblings we have our quarrels and annoyances with each other, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world...Love you "Big Sissy"!
My life now is more blessed than I deserve, and waaaaaay more than I ever dreamed of. In fact, it's not at all where or how or what I saw for myself, but God is so great that I have no doubt as long as I am keeping up my end of the bargain of tuning in to HIM, I know it's gonna' be greater than anything I could ever plan for myself!
Getting here has been tragic, enjoyable, heartbreaking, funny, insightful, risky, and an overall experience I would never take back, because no matter what has happened I am still alive and breathing happily today!
Wow...I really didn't plan to write that much. Hmmmm...well, can't say I didn't warn you about my "rambling" (it's right at the top of the page if you forgot)
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well" --Psalm 139: 13-14
*sigh* but to my dismay, not a single star has yet to "rain" past my window...
MAJOR fail Mr. Weatherman.
Anywhoooo...
There I was still wide awake after 4 a.m. and I began browsing facebook and in doing so I ran across some old friends, The Williamson sisters, Kristin Dittman and Alexa Williamson. As creaperish as it may sound I somehow found myself scrolling through both of their blogs and well...now here I am! All of this to say I owe my first blog experience to one of my old baby-sitters and her younger sister, a beautiful girl I use to play with down the street in good ol' Pebble Creek.
Now I'm not sure what will come of this new blog of mine. It could be neglected, something I visit from time to time to keep you update on life occurrences. However, it could also be an everyday diary for me, a way to vent and let out feelings which the day did not allow me to express...who knows!
I've been debating the whole "telling you about myself" ordeal, simply because I figure those who read this probably already know, but just to cover the basis (in-case I'm wrong) I'll lay it out on the table:
My name is Kelsi Aurelia Martin. My first name had no real meaning to it at the time my parents gave it to me, but we did later find out it was the maiden name of my great-great-great grandmother. Middle name is the opposite in the way that it has MAJOR significance as my grandmother's first name, my mother's middle name, passed down to me, and one day will be my first daughters name (don't judge me). The last name of course has been passed on through multiple generations of the "Martin clan", and though I haven't always, I am beginning to see the importance of owning this name and appreciating all it has brought me.
I grew up with very loving parents who continue to provide for me beyond measure! They were my best friends until I was 17, but as I began to suddenly discover what it meant to have an opinion and stand up for myself, things got rocky. I believe this is why God created "college"; for every student at this age to go off and LEAVE home, so as to relieve tension from both parties.
I did just that and now I hate every time I have to head back to school; my parents are back to being the ones I can ALWAYS turn to!
Straight out of High Schoo l I left for University of North Florida in Jacksonville in May 2008. It was quaint, it was was quiet, and it was 2 miles away from your toes in the water and booty in the sand (yes, the beach)! I was having a blast, and at the same time was slowly falling for a young man back in Tampa all via phone conversation and e-mails for 3.5 months. His name is Taylor Gardner, and our story is literally like a spider's web so that will have to be saved for another blog. For now, we'll just say that things took a turn in my mind and in my heart and I found myself returning to Tampa for College in Fall 2008. I attended Hillsborough Community College From January 2009-August 2010 and now I am (hopefully) settled in at The University of Central Florida in Orlando aiming for a Bachelors in Child Protective Investigation with a minor is Criminal Sociolgy.
Don't get too scrambled with my unorganized ramblings, but before I led into my schooling I was talking about my parents/ family. My parentals also have one other child, my dear sister, Amanda Kaitlin Martin, and I love her more than I will ever be able to explain!!! At first glance you may notice her to be different, but as you get inside that playful and dream-filled soul of hers you'll see that her heart is no different than yours or mine. She's the biggest part of my inspiration to work with kids and make sure they are placed in safe and caring households filled with love. Like any siblings we have our quarrels and annoyances with each other, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world...Love you "Big Sissy"!
My life now is more blessed than I deserve, and waaaaaay more than I ever dreamed of. In fact, it's not at all where or how or what I saw for myself, but God is so great that I have no doubt as long as I am keeping up my end of the bargain of tuning in to HIM, I know it's gonna' be greater than anything I could ever plan for myself!
Getting here has been tragic, enjoyable, heartbreaking, funny, insightful, risky, and an overall experience I would never take back, because no matter what has happened I am still alive and breathing happily today!
Wow...I really didn't plan to write that much. Hmmmm...well, can't say I didn't warn you about my "rambling" (it's right at the top of the page if you forgot)
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well" --Psalm 139: 13-14
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