The above title is fine and dandy to hear, but I'm sure there will be at least one person to read this who thinks "Yeah, okay Kelsi we all know you're just an optimist, but you have NO idea what my life is like or has been like in the past! You have no idea what I've been through, where I'm at, or the person I have become."
Guess what???
You're totally right!!!
My own best friend is going to have certain things through out her life that I may not be able to understand, and maybe even a thing or two that I will never know about, so of course I'm not going to know or understand who you are and what you have gone or are going through! However, the fact of the matter is that we ALL go through stuff...tough stuff...miserable stuff...stuff that haunts us for years on end.
Maybe I sound like a broken record to some of you, but this is not the end! There's a man I like to call on, Jesus Christ, who DIED ON A CROSS FOR YOU AND FOR ME!!! He wore a crown of thorns, He endured whip lashings like no other, and then He had nails hammered into his veins and bones just so all this crappy stuff you're dealing with could be taken away! No bad can be taken away if it doesn't ever come, so smile when you're in the storm; raise your hands up and beg for help and/or forgiveness and realize that because the storm is present, the sunshine is on it's way! God's hands are nearby and ready to shelter you from the storm.
There are few and far between who know my true life's past, and though I would like to pour my heart and soul out on this blog and share everything I have been through to get me where I am today, I honestly don't have the gull (yet). But the day will come, fellow "bloggers", haha. I promise you that one day I will share with you my pains and my struggles. Even though many of my major screw ups feel like they were so long ago, it is still such a fresh scar, hence why those who were there through it all and Taylor are the only one's who truly know.
Though I'm not sharing all of me yet, I can tell you that I won't pretend to understand your hurts and struggles, but I also won't leave you out in the dust to feel alone because no matter how you feel we all must remember that every single person around us is hurting! We're living in a hurt-filled world, hello!?! The hurt is all relative based off our upbringing and life experiences thus far, but it is present for each and every being who will ever grace this Earth.
LOVE IS ALL AROUND...
You just have to be open and willing to it.
UNTIL NEXT TIME:
"You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."
- Romans 5:6-8
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Friday, November 19, 2010
Can't get enough of my Dad in the sky...
So last night I was blessed with the opportunity of hearing a good friend of mine, Javier Cruz, speak at Crosswinds College ministry group, and it was beyond awesome! God really flowed through this man as he spoke about now vital it is that we hang up our desires from this world and begin to desire GOD instead!
It really got me thinking...how many times have I sat here and thought about those "If only's".
*If only I had a nicer car
*If only I had a high-paying Job
*If only I was older
*If only I had this or that or that or this...If only, If only, If only!
We all do it, and if you're sitting there saying you haven't then you're simply lying to yourself!
God created us! He picked up a pile of dirt and blew on it to createliving, breathing human beings, for goodness sakes! He didn't just do this because he was bored or because he just felt like it, because to follow up our creation he sent down his one and only son, Jesus Christ, and Jesus then died on the Cross for us and all our sinly ways!
Last night my eyes were opened to this: If God created ME, and God allowed his own son to be killed for ME, then clearly he has a plan for ME! So who the heck am I to stomp on that plan by sitting here and saying "This isn't good enough"!?!
We are nobodys and we need to accept this.
I nor you were created by God to be somebody, but rather to KNOW somebody...to know HIM, the creator of the Universe, the lover of all, and to share his wonderful and awesome power and glory with everyone we come into contact with.
Think about it...there is absolutely NOTHING on this earth that God wants or needs. As Javie put it last night "The man is not running on a shortage of i-pads in his heavenly kingdom! Our dude is up there flying on clouds! He has absolutely EVERYTHING, and nothing from this Earth impresses him." <--That could not be more true, yet we sit around collecting and working to aquire all this world has to offer us evne though God says it means NOTHING to him! "
I know this all seems preachy, but that's really not at all what I'm aiming at, so please hear me out. the message God sent through Javie message hit me on a very personal level, because though I may not have the biggest eye for material things I do have a heart that for years upon years now, has longed for "what I don't have yet". The thing is guys, we have "it". "IT" is HIM...our Dad in the heavens...Jesus Christ the son of God is "IT". Period.
There are no plans, no items, no thoughts of mine or yours or of this world that can even be seen in comparence to HIM.
If you want a life worth living, live for God, with God, and through God all the days of your life. We'll never do all that he asks, but why try NOT to? Follow him, love him, serve him, and let NOTHING be more important than the man himself who brought you hear in the first place, and blesses you with each of your days.
Until next Time:
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" ~Matthew 16:26
"And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." ~Luke 12:15
It really got me thinking...how many times have I sat here and thought about those "If only's".
*If only I had a nicer car
*If only I had a high-paying Job
*If only I was older
*If only I had this or that or that or this...If only, If only, If only!
We all do it, and if you're sitting there saying you haven't then you're simply lying to yourself!
God created us! He picked up a pile of dirt and blew on it to createliving, breathing human beings, for goodness sakes! He didn't just do this because he was bored or because he just felt like it, because to follow up our creation he sent down his one and only son, Jesus Christ, and Jesus then died on the Cross for us and all our sinly ways!
Last night my eyes were opened to this: If God created ME, and God allowed his own son to be killed for ME, then clearly he has a plan for ME! So who the heck am I to stomp on that plan by sitting here and saying "This isn't good enough"!?!
We are nobodys and we need to accept this.
I nor you were created by God to be somebody, but rather to KNOW somebody...to know HIM, the creator of the Universe, the lover of all, and to share his wonderful and awesome power and glory with everyone we come into contact with.
Think about it...there is absolutely NOTHING on this earth that God wants or needs. As Javie put it last night "The man is not running on a shortage of i-pads in his heavenly kingdom! Our dude is up there flying on clouds! He has absolutely EVERYTHING, and nothing from this Earth impresses him." <--That could not be more true, yet we sit around collecting and working to aquire all this world has to offer us evne though God says it means NOTHING to him! "
Matthew 6: 19-21 “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.
Why, if the God of the universe already has a plan that will fullfill us beyond all understanding (Phil. 4:6-7 "Do not worry about anything, instead pray about everything. Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done. Then He will give you a peace that is too wonderful to understand."), do we continue to seek out and hoard all that this world has to offer? Everything the world SAYS it has to offer ends in nothingness...it is all meaning-less to the man upstairs, and if it is meaningless to our God whom watched Satan create these meaningless thoughts and material things, then why in the world should we desire it!?!I know this all seems preachy, but that's really not at all what I'm aiming at, so please hear me out. the message God sent through Javie message hit me on a very personal level, because though I may not have the biggest eye for material things I do have a heart that for years upon years now, has longed for "what I don't have yet". The thing is guys, we have "it". "IT" is HIM...our Dad in the heavens...Jesus Christ the son of God is "IT". Period.
There are no plans, no items, no thoughts of mine or yours or of this world that can even be seen in comparence to HIM.
If you want a life worth living, live for God, with God, and through God all the days of your life. We'll never do all that he asks, but why try NOT to? Follow him, love him, serve him, and let NOTHING be more important than the man himself who brought you hear in the first place, and blesses you with each of your days.
Until next Time:
"For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" ~Matthew 16:26
"And he said to them, “Take care, and be on your guard against all covetousness, for one's life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions." ~Luke 12:15
Thursday, November 18, 2010
INSOMNIA...
At 4:15 this morning I found myself wide awake, after a failed attempt to be awake @ 2:45 a.m. for an expected meteor shower.
*sigh* but to my dismay, not a single star has yet to "rain" past my window...
MAJOR fail Mr. Weatherman.
Anywhoooo...
There I was still wide awake after 4 a.m. and I began browsing facebook and in doing so I ran across some old friends, The Williamson sisters, Kristin Dittman and Alexa Williamson. As creaperish as it may sound I somehow found myself scrolling through both of their blogs and well...now here I am! All of this to say I owe my first blog experience to one of my old baby-sitters and her younger sister, a beautiful girl I use to play with down the street in good ol' Pebble Creek.
Now I'm not sure what will come of this new blog of mine. It could be neglected, something I visit from time to time to keep you update on life occurrences. However, it could also be an everyday diary for me, a way to vent and let out feelings which the day did not allow me to express...who knows!
I've been debating the whole "telling you about myself" ordeal, simply because I figure those who read this probably already know, but just to cover the basis (in-case I'm wrong) I'll lay it out on the table:
My name is Kelsi Aurelia Martin. My first name had no real meaning to it at the time my parents gave it to me, but we did later find out it was the maiden name of my great-great-great grandmother. Middle name is the opposite in the way that it has MAJOR significance as my grandmother's first name, my mother's middle name, passed down to me, and one day will be my first daughters name (don't judge me). The last name of course has been passed on through multiple generations of the "Martin clan", and though I haven't always, I am beginning to see the importance of owning this name and appreciating all it has brought me.
I grew up with very loving parents who continue to provide for me beyond measure! They were my best friends until I was 17, but as I began to suddenly discover what it meant to have an opinion and stand up for myself, things got rocky. I believe this is why God created "college"; for every student at this age to go off and LEAVE home, so as to relieve tension from both parties.
I did just that and now I hate every time I have to head back to school; my parents are back to being the ones I can ALWAYS turn to!
Straight out of High Schoo l I left for University of North Florida in Jacksonville in May 2008. It was quaint, it was was quiet, and it was 2 miles away from your toes in the water and booty in the sand (yes, the beach)! I was having a blast, and at the same time was slowly falling for a young man back in Tampa all via phone conversation and e-mails for 3.5 months. His name is Taylor Gardner, and our story is literally like a spider's web so that will have to be saved for another blog. For now, we'll just say that things took a turn in my mind and in my heart and I found myself returning to Tampa for College in Fall 2008. I attended Hillsborough Community College From January 2009-August 2010 and now I am (hopefully) settled in at The University of Central Florida in Orlando aiming for a Bachelors in Child Protective Investigation with a minor is Criminal Sociolgy.
Don't get too scrambled with my unorganized ramblings, but before I led into my schooling I was talking about my parents/ family. My parentals also have one other child, my dear sister, Amanda Kaitlin Martin, and I love her more than I will ever be able to explain!!! At first glance you may notice her to be different, but as you get inside that playful and dream-filled soul of hers you'll see that her heart is no different than yours or mine. She's the biggest part of my inspiration to work with kids and make sure they are placed in safe and caring households filled with love. Like any siblings we have our quarrels and annoyances with each other, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world...Love you "Big Sissy"!
My life now is more blessed than I deserve, and waaaaaay more than I ever dreamed of. In fact, it's not at all where or how or what I saw for myself, but God is so great that I have no doubt as long as I am keeping up my end of the bargain of tuning in to HIM, I know it's gonna' be greater than anything I could ever plan for myself!
Getting here has been tragic, enjoyable, heartbreaking, funny, insightful, risky, and an overall experience I would never take back, because no matter what has happened I am still alive and breathing happily today!
Wow...I really didn't plan to write that much. Hmmmm...well, can't say I didn't warn you about my "rambling" (it's right at the top of the page if you forgot)
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well" --Psalm 139: 13-14
*sigh* but to my dismay, not a single star has yet to "rain" past my window...
MAJOR fail Mr. Weatherman.
Anywhoooo...
There I was still wide awake after 4 a.m. and I began browsing facebook and in doing so I ran across some old friends, The Williamson sisters, Kristin Dittman and Alexa Williamson. As creaperish as it may sound I somehow found myself scrolling through both of their blogs and well...now here I am! All of this to say I owe my first blog experience to one of my old baby-sitters and her younger sister, a beautiful girl I use to play with down the street in good ol' Pebble Creek.
Now I'm not sure what will come of this new blog of mine. It could be neglected, something I visit from time to time to keep you update on life occurrences. However, it could also be an everyday diary for me, a way to vent and let out feelings which the day did not allow me to express...who knows!
I've been debating the whole "telling you about myself" ordeal, simply because I figure those who read this probably already know, but just to cover the basis (in-case I'm wrong) I'll lay it out on the table:
My name is Kelsi Aurelia Martin. My first name had no real meaning to it at the time my parents gave it to me, but we did later find out it was the maiden name of my great-great-great grandmother. Middle name is the opposite in the way that it has MAJOR significance as my grandmother's first name, my mother's middle name, passed down to me, and one day will be my first daughters name (don't judge me). The last name of course has been passed on through multiple generations of the "Martin clan", and though I haven't always, I am beginning to see the importance of owning this name and appreciating all it has brought me.
I grew up with very loving parents who continue to provide for me beyond measure! They were my best friends until I was 17, but as I began to suddenly discover what it meant to have an opinion and stand up for myself, things got rocky. I believe this is why God created "college"; for every student at this age to go off and LEAVE home, so as to relieve tension from both parties.
I did just that and now I hate every time I have to head back to school; my parents are back to being the ones I can ALWAYS turn to!
Straight out of High Schoo l I left for University of North Florida in Jacksonville in May 2008. It was quaint, it was was quiet, and it was 2 miles away from your toes in the water and booty in the sand (yes, the beach)! I was having a blast, and at the same time was slowly falling for a young man back in Tampa all via phone conversation and e-mails for 3.5 months. His name is Taylor Gardner, and our story is literally like a spider's web so that will have to be saved for another blog. For now, we'll just say that things took a turn in my mind and in my heart and I found myself returning to Tampa for College in Fall 2008. I attended Hillsborough Community College From January 2009-August 2010 and now I am (hopefully) settled in at The University of Central Florida in Orlando aiming for a Bachelors in Child Protective Investigation with a minor is Criminal Sociolgy.
Don't get too scrambled with my unorganized ramblings, but before I led into my schooling I was talking about my parents/ family. My parentals also have one other child, my dear sister, Amanda Kaitlin Martin, and I love her more than I will ever be able to explain!!! At first glance you may notice her to be different, but as you get inside that playful and dream-filled soul of hers you'll see that her heart is no different than yours or mine. She's the biggest part of my inspiration to work with kids and make sure they are placed in safe and caring households filled with love. Like any siblings we have our quarrels and annoyances with each other, but I wouldn't trade her for anyone in the world...Love you "Big Sissy"!
My life now is more blessed than I deserve, and waaaaaay more than I ever dreamed of. In fact, it's not at all where or how or what I saw for myself, but God is so great that I have no doubt as long as I am keeping up my end of the bargain of tuning in to HIM, I know it's gonna' be greater than anything I could ever plan for myself!
Getting here has been tragic, enjoyable, heartbreaking, funny, insightful, risky, and an overall experience I would never take back, because no matter what has happened I am still alive and breathing happily today!
Wow...I really didn't plan to write that much. Hmmmm...well, can't say I didn't warn you about my "rambling" (it's right at the top of the page if you forgot)
UNTIL NEXT TIME...
"For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well" --Psalm 139: 13-14
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